Do I still got it?

I have been thinking about what W told the counselor about his lack of interest in sex.
"There is just too much going on all the time.  Too many people in the house all the time, this project at work, her being sick.   Its a lot."

 I want to understand him, but I just see these as excuses.  I went back to check my calendar, we have not had sex since July 21, 2012.........that is just over 6 months.  And I am not allowed to ask him for it or try to seduce him.

I went out today for dr. apts and had 3 hours between them so I went to my eldest daughters restaurant and hung out.  I had so many complements on how beautiful and hot I am.  Keep in mind I have been on treatment for almost 6 weeks  I am pale to the point there is not enough make up to cover it up.  I am emaciated.  My daughter kept asking me if I was ok, she would say I just looked really tired.

Yet there were so many men who wanted to know if I was her sister and wanted her to tell me how beautiful I am.  One guy offered to pay for my food but the manager loves me, so he had already comped it.

Yet W has too much going on to even consider sex with his wife.  Six months and it would have been longer than that if it hadnt been an assigned by our councilor.  Six months and the best he can do on rare occasions is to tell me I'm cute.  What a waste.  Six months of being so busy you ignore your wife.  So busy that he doesn't even flinch if I say someone hits on me or that someone even tried to kiss me.  I still don't matter.  Physically, I am invisible.

There is no other way to explain it.  I have to admit, I do not think about it like I used to.........which could just be one more step towards that door or all the meds I am on.

I'm a little older, look a little different.  But why does he push me away?