Our last counseling session was a little over a week ago. It went well. Our assignment was to schedule time together, spent in our underwear, touching one another. The rules: no touching under the clothing and no sex.
We did this last Saturday. It was amazing and the no sex thing proved to be the most difficult part. Since then, I have noticed a marked improvement in him. He is happier, more open and more affectionate. Still no sex, but the counselor says to do this right, it could be some time before we are ready.
I was hopeful.
Last night we met in the city for dinner and a movie, to celebrate M's birthday. When I arrived with the girls, I smelled smoke on him. When I asked him about it he said it was the first on since his birthday 3 weeks ago. I let it go.
Later, when were home and I was getting ready for bed; he was outside........... smoking again.
I asked him if he had bought a pack. He laughed it off but didn't answer. I asked him if he had been smoking while he was out of town for work. He said yes. I asked him why he would lie. Again, he makes light of the situation and then says he didn't want to admit to it in front of M.
So it is better for her to have a dad who lies and smokes? (side note: M hates that her dad smokes, she asks him all the time to quit. She was very proud of him when he said he had)
He is still smiling and laughing like this is some kind of joke. I explained that it was NOT ok.
When he got into bed, he said he was sorry and he would throw the rest of the pack out. But its not about the smoking. It's the lying.
Because if he is going to lie about this, what else has he continued to lie about?
Again........................2 steps forward, 6 steps back.
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