Not Alone

My initial visit with a Not Alone provider was a week ago Friday.  It did not got well.  It was set for noon but then I had a meeting to attend so I changed it to 2pm.  I knew the address was close to one of my buildings so I would just use it as an excuse for site visit.

Only, when I arrived, it was in the same building as the management company............ who serve as my contact for maintenance.  I know these people!  So now I'm worried that someone will see me entering or leaving the doctors office.  But I suck it up and go in anyway, figuring I can just make up some lie if anyone does see me.

When I get into the office, the secretary is gone.  I can clearly hear conversation in an adjacent room, so I have a seat and wait.  A small, older woman emerges from the room, frowns and asks if she can help me. I explain that I am there for an appointment and she hands me paperwork and goes back into the room.  First impression..............not good.

I fill out minimal info because it's requesting insurance and spousal information; neither of which is important according to my contact at Not Alone.  The hobbit comes back out with her patient, all chatty and seemingly in a much more jovial mood than she was with me.  I ignore them both and pretend to be interested in my paperwork.

When her patient leaves she tells me is going somewhere to get something and I nod as if I give a shit.  I stop her and ask just how much of the paperwork is really necessary.
"Well, you're active duty military.  Right?"
"No"
She looks confused.
"I think you have to be, to be considered for this."
"My husband was, but he is out."
"Then just put all his information.  I will need Tricare and......"  I interrupt her.
"This should all be handled by the Not Alone organization.  I do not need to provide you with any of my husband's info.  He doesn't even know I am here and I would like to keep it that way.  AND.... there is no Tricare info to provide."
"Now I'm confused." ... (Yeah, you look it)  "Is there some paperwork they provided you?  I will need that."
"No.  I have an email confirmation for the appointment."
"Well, that wont do.  Is there someone you can call?"
At this point I already have my phone out and am dialing.  She continues talking.
The lady at Not Alone is irritated as I try to explain that this doctor is a moron.  She is trying to come up with a solution and tell her that the situation is already uncomfortable and I would rather not be there.  She tells me to leave and she will find someone else.  She is very kind to me.  She is irritated with the idiot doctor.  I am out the door before I even get off of the phone.  The doctor is at the reception desk looking through papers and doesn't even notice me leaving............ or doesn't care.

I am half way back to my office when she calls to tell me that everything is OK.  She found my paperwork and we can just reschedule my apt.  I politely decline.

Not Alone did set me up with a new provider and I saw her yesterday.  I like her.  I cried almost the entire session.  Today I had an anxiety attack that lasted all day and I am completely emotionally drained.  But I am hopeful.

He is out of town again.  Was supposed to be back today but called me at work to tell me he was staying an extra day.  Did not make things any better.  But then he called me 7 times this evening and was all happy.  As hard as I try to see that as a good sign, I am still suspicious.  I wish I wasn't.   I only hope, counseling will help with that.