Work, work, work

He is out of town again, working.  I try really hard not to let it bother me but it doesn't always work.  Things started out pretty good.  This morning, he must have kissed me 10 times and told me he loved me... on his way out the door.  It was nice.
Later, while I was at work, he called me.  First time he has called me at this job so I didn't immediately recognize his voice.  He thought that was funny and even tried messing with me a little, but I caught on.
He told me he knew how busy I have been at work (sarcasm) but he want me to see about planning a weekend get away for the two of us.
Wait, maybe it wasn't really my husband that called????
I was surprised, but the good kind of surprised.  So I spent the remainder of the day looking into B&B's within a 300 mile radius.  Even got a little excited about all the possibilities.  Romantic weekend getaway..........oh, the possibilities!  I hope anyway.  Is never good to create ridiculous expectations.  Then you're just disappointed.
Sad when having sex with one's spouse is a ridiculous expectation.
He called me when I got off work to let me know he was working diligently so he wouldn't have to go back on Saturday to finish his project.  Which is even better news since we had had plans for St. Patrick's day but cancelled them after this came up.
So I keep busy with my Pampered Chef shit and making lime truffles for my co-workers and don't allow myself  to think about anything negative.
Then I get ready for bed and give him a call................... and no answer.  All the good and positive from the day down the crapper.  He did call me right back........ but in those few minutes, I was right back in that place. The bad place.  That place I have called home for so many years.  One I am afraid to leave because being there is bad enough but leaving and seeing how good things could be only to go back again............ that is torture.
When things suck, you know where you stand.  You know what to expect.  But when things are good............ it is uncharted territory.  You have no idea from one moment to the next what might happen to bring all that good crashing down.  And it will happen, there is just no telling when or what might cause it.
So tonight I sleep alone........... which I hate.  But I will remember to give it over to God.  It is not mine to fret over.  And let's face it, if fretting did any good at all............ I wouldn't have any problems.